Daughter: Yeah, you're right!!
Mom: I see Dad just pulled up in the driveway. Have him pick up some bananas and apples from the store ...so I can make a couple pies.
Daughter (greeting dad with a hug): Hi, Dad ...how was your night?
Dad: Well, okay ...but, it's still kinda hard getting used to midnight shift.
Daughter: Mom wants you to pick up some bananas and apples from the store. We both have been eating too much of these sweetened cereals.
Dad: Oh, I don't know about that ...I think I like it having the sweetest girls around. By the way, where is your mom?
Daughter: She jumped in the shower ...she said it's her turn to work at the Senior Center.
Dad: Are the pies going to be for the seniors ...or for us??
Daughter: Oh, the pies are for us ...most of the seniors can't have pies.
Dad (laughing to himself as he drives to the store): I wonder how much sugar will be in those pies my already sweetened sweeties want to make.
The store is less than a mile away, but Dad is gone almost an hour.
Daughter: Dad, what took you so long?
Dad: I couldn't decide what fruit to get.
Daughter: You got apples and bananas, right?
Dad: Yeah ...but, I didn't know what kind to get.
Daughter: I'm just guessing, but I think the yellow bananas ...yet, I guess the slightly green ones might do too.
Dad (laughs): Oh, good ...I'm glad I didn't get the black ones. I thought they'd be kinda squishy and hard to peel.
Daughter: Thanks, Dad ...you did good on that one. Now, how about the apples ...those were probably the ones that got you, right?
Dad: No, that was easy ...I got a bag of each. Your mom can take the ones she doesn't want to the Senior Center. By the way, where is your mom?
Daughter: She's still in the bathroom ...I heard the hair drier, and then a groan. I think she's having a bad hair day.
The phone rings.
Dad (answers the phone ...then calls into the bathroom): Hi, dear ...it's your loving husband. Yes, I'm home ...and already taking messages for you. It's your mother on the phone.
(From inside the bathroom): Can you take a better message? See what she wants.
(From outside the bathroom): She said her bathroom is flooding.
(From inside the bathroom): What does she want me to do about it? Can you go over, and see if you can be of any help?
That answered his question. What his mother-in-law wanted his wife to do about it ...was to tell him to do something about it.
He is at his mother-in-law's all morning and half of the afternoon. He returns home ...tired & famished. The house is silent ...and all he sees is one banana and one apple on the table. But, he smells the wonderful aroma of pies cooking.
The bathroom is still occupied, but quickly his daughter exits the bathroom and grabs the apple from the table.
Daughter: Oh, Dad ...you look terrible! The shower is open now. I will see you later tonight. I have a date with my boyfriend ....we're going to the movies. Mom will be home in just a minute or so ...she went to pick up Joe from school.
He gets in the shower. In a few minutes, he is done ...and eager to see his wife and greet their son.
As he exits the bathroom, he hears his wife talking on the phone. From the conversation, he can hear that it's his mother-in-law ...and that conversation, from past experience, can go on for nearly an hour.
His son is there though ...sitting at the table, silently staring.
Dad: Hi, Joe ...how was school?
Son: Oh, hi ...Dad, sorry I didn't see you walking up. School was okay, how was work?
Dad: Oh, work is ...work. I'm glad I'm home ...I always miss you all.
Son: I'm glad you're home ...I miss you too.
Dad: So, what did you learn today at school.
Son: It's more like what did I unlearn.
Dad: Is that why you were staring at that banana on the table? You thought that school was rather fruitless?
Son: You're funny, Dad ...but, seriously, can I ask you some questions?
Dad: You know you can talk to me anytime ...about anything?
Son: Okay ...would you say we are increasing in knowledge?
Dad: Do you mean, do I believe that people today are smarter than they used to be?
Son: I mean, on an intellectual scale ...would you say you and I are below average intellectually?
Dad: I would say I am quite substantially below average. Now, you, on the other hand, that all depends on what you learned today. If you learned what they taught you today, and they taught you all they know ...you may be right up there with them.
Son: They say that evolution has been proven ...and that it is no longer a theory, but a fact. That's why I was staring at that banana. It was once alive ...and it has small seeds in it, so even though it doesn't appear to be alive, if you plant it, it could grow. So, we can confidently say it is alive then.
Dad: Okay, I can follow you so far.
Son: But, just staring at the banana ...unless somebody, or something does something with it, I wonder how long it would take to evolve into something else? I can only imagine that it would rot and turn black.
Dad: You mean, you can't imagine that the banana could evolve into a monkey. Or how about a monkey turning into a banana? I can imagine a banana going into a monkey.
Son: You're telling jokes again, Dad. Sure, if a monkey saw the banana through our window, busted the window, and ate the banana ...it would be a banana going into a monkey.
Dad smiles.
Son: It's a good thing Mom is on the phone ...she wouldn't think your jokes are funny. She believes the Bible is true ...and she would be very serious about this. But, seriously, the Bible can't be true ...because it's been proven that evolution is a fact.
Dad (continues to smile): If your sister hadn't taken the apple ...maybe we wouldn't be here just staring at the banana. A woman taking an apple may have created this whole dilemma in the first place.
Son: You're joking again, Dad. But, who said it was an apple ...the Bible doesn't say it was an apple.
Dad: The Bible doesn't say there was evolution.
Son: But, they've proven that evolution is true.
Dad: They haven't proven it to me. Did your teacher teach you everything there is to know about evolution?
Son: No, that would take too long.
Dad: How about inviting your teacher over tomorrow evening, and your teacher can tell me a few things to help me understand. We should have some left over pie ...tell your teacher we will have some pie too. And if I can be convinced of evolution, I'll also have some humble pie.
Dad (answers the phone ...then calls into the bathroom): Hi, dear ...it's your loving husband. Yes, I'm home ...and already taking messages for you. It's your mother on the phone.
(From inside the bathroom): Can you take a better message? See what she wants.
(From outside the bathroom): She said her bathroom is flooding.
(From inside the bathroom): What does she want me to do about it? Can you go over, and see if you can be of any help?
That answered his question. What his mother-in-law wanted his wife to do about it ...was to tell him to do something about it.
He is at his mother-in-law's all morning and half of the afternoon. He returns home ...tired & famished. The house is silent ...and all he sees is one banana and one apple on the table. But, he smells the wonderful aroma of pies cooking.
The bathroom is still occupied, but quickly his daughter exits the bathroom and grabs the apple from the table.
Daughter: Oh, Dad ...you look terrible! The shower is open now. I will see you later tonight. I have a date with my boyfriend ....we're going to the movies. Mom will be home in just a minute or so ...she went to pick up Joe from school.
He gets in the shower. In a few minutes, he is done ...and eager to see his wife and greet their son.
As he exits the bathroom, he hears his wife talking on the phone. From the conversation, he can hear that it's his mother-in-law ...and that conversation, from past experience, can go on for nearly an hour.
His son is there though ...sitting at the table, silently staring.
Dad: Hi, Joe ...how was school?
Son: Oh, hi ...Dad, sorry I didn't see you walking up. School was okay, how was work?
Dad: Oh, work is ...work. I'm glad I'm home ...I always miss you all.
Son: I'm glad you're home ...I miss you too.
Dad: So, what did you learn today at school.
Son: It's more like what did I unlearn.
Dad: Is that why you were staring at that banana on the table? You thought that school was rather fruitless?
Son: You're funny, Dad ...but, seriously, can I ask you some questions?
Dad: You know you can talk to me anytime ...about anything?
Son: Okay ...would you say we are increasing in knowledge?
Dad: Do you mean, do I believe that people today are smarter than they used to be?
Son: I mean, on an intellectual scale ...would you say you and I are below average intellectually?
Dad: I would say I am quite substantially below average. Now, you, on the other hand, that all depends on what you learned today. If you learned what they taught you today, and they taught you all they know ...you may be right up there with them.
Son: They say that evolution has been proven ...and that it is no longer a theory, but a fact. That's why I was staring at that banana. It was once alive ...and it has small seeds in it, so even though it doesn't appear to be alive, if you plant it, it could grow. So, we can confidently say it is alive then.
Dad: Okay, I can follow you so far.
Son: But, just staring at the banana ...unless somebody, or something does something with it, I wonder how long it would take to evolve into something else? I can only imagine that it would rot and turn black.
Dad: You mean, you can't imagine that the banana could evolve into a monkey. Or how about a monkey turning into a banana? I can imagine a banana going into a monkey.
Son: You're telling jokes again, Dad. Sure, if a monkey saw the banana through our window, busted the window, and ate the banana ...it would be a banana going into a monkey.
Dad smiles.
Son: It's a good thing Mom is on the phone ...she wouldn't think your jokes are funny. She believes the Bible is true ...and she would be very serious about this. But, seriously, the Bible can't be true ...because it's been proven that evolution is a fact.
Dad (continues to smile): If your sister hadn't taken the apple ...maybe we wouldn't be here just staring at the banana. A woman taking an apple may have created this whole dilemma in the first place.
Son: You're joking again, Dad. But, who said it was an apple ...the Bible doesn't say it was an apple.
Dad: The Bible doesn't say there was evolution.
Son: But, they've proven that evolution is true.
Dad: They haven't proven it to me. Did your teacher teach you everything there is to know about evolution?
Son: No, that would take too long.
Dad: How about inviting your teacher over tomorrow evening, and your teacher can tell me a few things to help me understand. We should have some left over pie ...tell your teacher we will have some pie too. And if I can be convinced of evolution, I'll also have some humble pie.
